Crazy life in MN

More police stories from my wonderful town with my comments in italics below:

Theft. Officers responded to a home on the 11000 block of Oregon Avenue regarding a theft of a handgun.

Isn’t a handgun supposed to prevent theft?

 

Neighbor dispute. An officer responded to a home on the 100 block of Hartman Circle NE. regarding a dispute between neighbors. The officer mediated the dispute regarding comments one neighbor made to a dog.

Yes, I am sure the dog’s feelings were crushed.

 

Theft. Officers responded to an apartment on the 4400 block of Parklawn Avenue regarding a theft. Someone stole jewelry and WWE wrestling tickets worth $966.

Wait, WWE tickets cost THAT much now? This person got robbed just buying the damn tickets.

 

Suspicious activity. Someone called police to report seeing three people walking in the Holy Name Cemetery at County Road 24 and Holy Name Drive. The caller described one person in a long white robe and two others in black robes. According to police reports, officers checked the area and located parishioners outside the church who said they had just gone for a walk in the cemetery a few minutes before.

So, now we’re reporting people that are SUPPOSED to be there??

 

Vandalism. A house in the 600 block of Florence Avenue was egged.

Pissed off chicken still at large.

 

Littering. A resident of the 3000 block of Aaron Drive reported seeing some kids throwing a TV into a pond.

Good to see people finally getting sick of Jersey Shore.

 

Neighbor dispute. A resident called police to complain about the odor when a neighbor cooks, according to police reports. The two parties live in adjacent homes in a residential neighborhood. Officers determined the food smell was not unreasonable and advised the caller that no action would be taken by police.

So you may now cook your fish sticks without worry.

 

Theft. Officers received a report of three light bulbs stolen from the outdoor lights at a home on the 18600 block of Gladstone Boulevard.

Really?  Aren’t they like $1 for four of them?

 

Theft. Someone stole a wood duck house from the yard of a home on Ox Yoke Circle.

I doubt it.  A neighbor probably thought it was a little redneck-ish.

 

Theft. Someone stole disc golf baskets and pins from Twin Lakes Park, 9439 Viking Blvd.

Careful, don’t f- with the stoners.

 

Theft. A 57-year-old Minneapolis woman was arrested for theft after allegedly taking and cashing a winning receipt valued at $265 from a slot machine after it was left by another player at Mystic Lake Casino.

Apparently “finders keepers, losers weepers” is not a law in MN.

 

Mischief. Police received a report of 10-12 juveniles shooting silly string outside of Rutherford Elementary School, 115 Rutherford Road. Police contacted the school but no one was concerned about the incident.

Careful with that silly string..you’ll shoot your eye out.

 

Bear sighting. A black bear reportedly was observed near the Woodbury Lakes shopping center, according to police reports. Police were unable to find the animal.

Check Ethan Allen or the Sunglass Hut.  It’s where bears usually shop.

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