Bad ideas

In blue: Countries currently with KFC restaurants
The blue areas have KFC. Thought you should know.

Occasionally I get emails from people who write in asking for advice on bad ideas.  I have no idea where they get these concepts from..

Here are the latest 3:

1. Emily wrote:


I grew up flatchested and am now 18.  I friend said I could pig out and gain a bunch of weight (like 40 lbs or so) to get “fat boobs”, then just diet like crazy and lose the weight and I’ll keep my boobs.  This seems WAY cheaper than plastic surgery, so I have to ask, do you think it’s a good idea?



No, giving yourself “fat boobs” is not a good idea.  How the hell did this come up in conversation, anyway? I imagine this:

You:  I don’t like my boobs.  I wish there was a way to increase my bust size.

Friend (placing a box on the counter like in a commercial):  There is!  Fat Boobs, from Nice N Simple.  Just eat this ready made 4000 calorie meal every meal for 6 weeks to gain the proper weight, then take this colon blaster pill and you’ll be right back to normal!

You:  But won’t I lose my boobs?

Friend:  No, they’ll still be there!  I think..

(Cue friendly laughter and voiceover)

Voiceover:  Fat Boobs may cause stretch marks, high blood pressure, lack of sex life, heart attack, stroke, colon rupture, constipation, diarrhea, an addiction to KFC and death.  Results may vary.  Fat Boobs, now available at Wal-Mart!

The point I am trying to make is twofold:  1) There is no guarantee this will work to your benefit.  2) The risks outweigh the benefit.  I’ve never heard of this working for anyone (unless they had a baby and NO..that would also be a bad idea for you..).


2.  Anonymous wrote:

hey man,

i read back in your blogs and found the post about you contacting your exes-cool stuff.  i’ve always wanted to contact my exes to find out what they thought about our sex.  how could i go about doing that/finding these people?  there have been quite a few one night stands, so it’ll be tough..



Don’t bother looking/asking about that.  It’ll only lead to heartbreak or a lower self-esteem.  Why am I saying this?  Lots of one night stands says to me your sexcapades are not as thrilling for THEM as they are for YOU, otherwise they’d be back for more.  The goal going forward is quality, not quantity.  Giving 400 women the “best 4 seconds of their lives” is still less than a half hour.


3.  Aimee wrote:


I read somewhere that men don’t go for women with kids and I have two (I am recently divorced).  With being new to the online dating thing, how wise would it be for me to leave that info off of my profile and then let them find out (or discuss it) later?  Just wondering-



That’d be a horrible idea.  I’d liken it to a woman leaving off the fact that she has a penis.  (Yes, I went there..)  You leaving that info off of your profile and expecting others to “be OK” with everything that comes along with dating someone with kids (lack of money, lack of free time, kids around, more people to build relationships with eventually, etc.,) is opening yourself up to disaster.  That is a big surprise (like a penis would be) to be popping on someone who may not be ready for it.  True, there are some people who won’t date others with kids, but there are others that WILL and you want to ideally attract those types, not the ones who aren’t ready.  You’ve been out of the dating world for awhile, so I’ll just say this:  Take things slowly, be open and honest about everything, and don’t have any expectations of how things should go.  Good luck.