Ugly by proximity

Cheese curds for sale, Minnesota State Fair, F...

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Anonymous wrote:

Sean,

I am a 27 year old guy, not a “hot guy”, I don’t have a ripped body or anything, I consider myself average.  I am also dating a wonderful woman who most guys would consider average too.  I am not complaining about that at all, I just want to make that clear.  What I have an issue with is that my girlfriend has really ugly friends.  I am not talking about the “woah-she’s-ugly” type, I am talking about the, “what the hell is that-that’s your face?” ugly.  On top of the ugliness, they’re also overweight and wear ridiculously slutty clothes when out clubbing.  If they head to the dance floor, it’s all whale’s tails and FUPAs.  Not flattering at all.

My girlfriend had been friends with them for years and the entire year we’ve been dating, she keeps asking me to bring guy friends along when we go out with them (because we’re the only dating couple), but when I show guys their pictures, they’re always repulsed.  I get tired of making excuses for why they won’t come, so what do I do now?  Do I come out and tell her that her friends are ugly and have poor fashion taste, or do I suck it up and beg a guy friend to take one for the team?  I feel bad that we’re always the odd couple out, but I’d feel worse blindsiding a friend with her friends.

Anonymous

Anonymous,

I don’t know where you’re from, but if you want a look at ugly, go people watch at the Minnesota State Fair.  There are people there that could scare rust off of metal.  I say that in a general sense of course because everyone has their “ugly days”.  Most people can spruce themselves up to at least be presentable.

Your girlfriend’s friends sound like they are not necessarily able to do that.  Maybe they’re dressing slutty to attract attention since they may have lowered self esteem due to the lack of attractiveness when compared to you and your GF.  As beautiful as they may be on the inside, it appears that most people can’t get past the outside in order to see the inner beauty.

Don’t blindside your friends.  Leave them out of this one and have a talk with your girlfriend.  Let her know that your friends and her friends have different standards for dating and your friends don’t appear to be interested.  Yes, it may cause an argument and yes, boils down to attraction because honestly, it HAS to at some point involve attraction.  Even if your friends and your GF’s friends got along well, it wouldn’t be more than a friendship unless there was attraction and you stated your friends were not at all attracted to them.

That said, it’s also time you stop being so hard on them and show a little more compassion.  You’re placing yourself on a different level than them and you’re not realizing the bond that they share with your girlfriend.  If your girlfriend means anything to you and you want this to be long term, you’ll have to learn to like these women for who they are.  Spend more time with these women and not more time judging them.  They are probably cool people, regardless of looks.
Sean

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