I got a raise today and was trying to think of all of the things I could do with it.
1. I could buy a car. A toy Barbie car..with no batteries..from a garage sale.
2. I could buy a swimming pool for the yard. It’d be a 4ft round plastic Care Bears pool..on clearance.
3. I could start my own business. Giving away free business advice.
4. I could buy a new house..for Olivia’s ZhuZhu pets….from Big Lots…on closeout.
5. I could pay for one 5th of one month’s gym membership.
6. I could take my family for a blizzard at Dairy Queen..on buy one get one free day.
7. I could buy a new running shoe. Just one.
8. I could make a few long distance calls from a payphone.
9. I could make a nice taco salad..even with crumbled Doritos.
10. I could almost fill my gas tank…for a few days.
11. I could have a night out a the bar…assuming they don’t charge me for the lemon in my water..
12. I could buy a 24 pack of Coke, if someone paid for half.
Yeah, it wasn’t the raise I’d hoped for, but I made light of it…