My friend Alec is having issues dating and I think I’ve pinpointed his issues. You see, Alec is severely overweight, has hygene issues, plays video games WAY too much and is pretty much the example of what most adult women don’t want. He sets his sights on really beautiful women (some go on a date with him), but gets heartbroken when things don’t go the way he thinks they should have. How do I explain to Alec that he is setting his sights way too high? If he isn’t willing to change himself, how do I explain that the highest goal he should have for a woman is a pulse?
Kind of mean there Dbrevik, but I get the idea. From your email, I am assuming you are getting significantly more attention than he is? Perhaps you’re in better shape as well? These days, those in the dating world that get the most attention are those that market themselves toward the people they want to attract. This doesn’t mean changing WHO you are, but is more like changing HOW you present yourself. If you’re a grubby comic book t-shirt wearing, playstation addicted, sloppy, unhealthy, 30 year-old kid..you WILL have trouble finding a mate, plain and simple.Get thee to the gym and tidy your wardrobe.
On the other hand, even if you’re healthy and attractive, if you’re conceited and self-obsessed douchebag who always openly rags on his friends, you will also have some issues finding a mate. You may get laid from time to time, but it won’t be long before you have your name on the STD Wall of Shame at your doctor’s office. No one likes a prick.
Both sides of the coin require some work. If you hope to attract women, be yourself, but don’t be a 200% version of yourself. Just keep it cool, and seek to learn as much about the other person as you possibly can. That said, it may take some time to break in the fact that you still play Magic: The Gathering, or that you like to pop the collar on your pink polo, but these things NEED to take time. Dumping everything on the table is not only overwhelming, it’s a turnoff, because it shows that you care more about expressing who YOU are and not about learning about who the other person is. The key here is to play the good cards first and not just dump everything on the table. Good luck!