Spinning

Austin wrote:

Sean,

I have recently realized that the woman I’ve been dating for the last 6 months isn’t going anywhere in her life.  She’s just spinning in circles.  She hates her jobs (she’s had 3 in the last year), she doesn’t care about her appearance or her place being clean, she dropped out of school, and she just wants to live paycheck to paycheck.  When I asked her about her ambitions, she said she just wants to “be free” and “live life”.  She has no ambition beyond that and it’s killing me.  I can’t stand to think that if we got married someday, she’d simply be okay with not contributing financially to the relationship and just existing.  What kind of a role model is that for kids?  What do I do here?

Austin

 

Austin,

Let her be free, but take no part in her life.  If you each want such a vastly different life, there is no way this will work in the long term.  True, she may be young (you never mentioned your ages), and just trying to find herself in the world, but if she’s well into her 20’s or even in her 30’s, it’s time to make your exit and let her figure herself out.  Has she seen anyone regarding possible depression?  Just the fact that she’s showing no real interest in anything stands out as a red flag to me.  If it is depression, you can try to help, but she’ll have to want to help herself as well.

You seem to want something that she’s stated is nothing like what she wants.  You want a partner, she wants freedom.  I’d say it’s about time you stop hanging on.

Sean

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