I hate skinny jeans. I don’t just hate them, I despise them and everything they’ve come to embody. What started as a trend by emo kids has become a fashion nightmare to rival Zubaz (blarf) and ugg boots (hurrgghh). These days, everyone
has skinny jeans and not everyone should.
I was fortunate enough to be “husky” (thanks Wendy’s..) enough to be inelligible for the skinny jean trend when it began about 6 years ago, and now that I’ve trimmed down, my legs are too muscular to wear them…and thank God. Seeing me wearing skinny jeans would be like watching the Rock walk around in an evening gown. You would need eye bleach to erase that from your mind.
Needless to say, I was surprised when a radio personality today announced that she liked super thin guys that wear incredibly tight women’s skinny jeans. Yes, she specified “women’s” and “incredibly tight”. I was surprised because I was aware teens liked this fashion fad, but I wasn’t aware that adult women liked it too. What started as a teen fashion has somehow pervasively made it’s way into the casual adult’s closet.
What do we do about that? Nothing. Just like Uggs, there is no stopping this juggernaut. I’ll just sit back in my normal jeans and watch the train wreck. The only thing that concerns me is how tight they are. Many men have trouble with dangly bits being squeezed in normal jeans, so why would any self-respecting man want to make his dangly bits seem like they were in an apple press for hours at a time? No thanks..I’d have a day long stomach ache just seeing that go down. I hope men realize the potential health hazard they’re committing and move away from such a ballsackially (I made that word official just now) damaging trend. Until then, I’ll leave the skinny jeans to eunochs like Bieber.