College rules

Randi wrote

I have been in a relationship with a guy for over 2 years and I don’t know if I want to be with him anymore. We’ve been through a ton, we are in love, but I feel like I’m not in it anymore.  Also, I’m going to college next year and don’t really know if we’d last through that.  There’s also been this guy that is going to my college next year that has really been flirting with me too.  I don’t know what my life would be life without my boyfriend, but I don’t know if going for this new guy would be right either.  It’s kind of confusing and I don’t know what to do, can you help?



Don’t use the, “Well we’re going to college next year..” breakup.  It’s the most cowardly approach you can take.  Yes, people change in college..and yes, most high school relationships rarely make it through college, but don’t use THAT as an excuse to pursue someone else.  If you genuinely feel it isn’t working, let him know.  If you feel like you want to eventually date other people since you’re young, let him know.  Just don’t use the college’s lame.  I’d also advise against jumping from one relationship into another (i.e., breaking up with someone just to pursue someone else) because it simply isn’t healthy to not take time off in between relationships.  Look at my past posts and you’ll find that this has been a topic I’ve discussed at length in the past.

The Breakup
Ooh shit, someone's going to get stabbed...

As far as a fear of dating someone new or giving up a high school relationship for the unknown, it’s always scary to let go.  That feeling will never go away, but how you handle letting go as a young adult will determine how maturely you handle breakups from that point on.  If you end this one badly, it can set in motion a chain of events that will may damage your relationships in the future.  Your best bet is to be honest with yourself and honest with him.  Good luck.