Fishing in the dark

Jason wrote:

Sean,

Is it true the a woman’s hoo-hoo gets stretched out when they give birth?  My friends and I are 23 and the first one of us guys just became a father a few months ago.  When he seemed grumpy, I asked him why and he said sex was awful now that his wife’s cootch was stretched out.  I thought skin snapped back?  Isn’t that why it’s so bendy in the first place?  Does my friend’s wife have something wrong, or are all men destined to have horrible sex lives after kids?

Jason

 

Jason,

Mick JaggerSkin is like a rubber band, but it doesn’t snap back like one.  Over time, it can also lose shape and stretch out.  For a good example, look at an old person’s arms.  Collagen sinks away from the body and the skin loses elasticity.  Now, I am not really sure how much collagen is down THERE (ahem), but I do know that it is pretty common to lose shape after childbirth.

If you’d like to see what I mean, you could take a football, stick it up your butt, then push it out.  Your butt should then resemble a deflated cheese souffle (or Mick Jagger’s face).  The skin stretches past the elasticity point and takes quite a while to get back into shape.  It’ll never be “just like it was” but it’ll be close. Also, you’re being douchey by asking if there’s something “wrong” with his wife.  Sex isn’t bad after having kids, it just needs to adapt.  Or, maybe your friend just has a tiny tool to work with?  Either way, he (and you) need to learn to adapt to change.  It can be fun.

Advertisements

One thought on “Fishing in the dark

Comments are closed.