Dogs and cats

Allison wrote:

So what is your beef with dogs anyway?  I am 27 and own a dog and am pretty damn happy.  I am single, but can at least say I am not a crazy cat lady.

Allison

 

Allison,

I don’t have a beef with dogs, I just don’t like them.  I also don’t dislike ALL dogs..just some.  To me, single people are almost identical to their pets.  Let me show you:

1. Cats
Independent and confident in their cuddly abilities.

Cat owners
Independent and confident in themselves.

Dogs
Needy, attention starved.

Dog owners
Needy, attention starved.

2. Cats
Comfortable chasing things, smelling your shoes, cleaning themselves, or playing “attack the paper bag.”

Cat owners
Comfortable having “nights in”, take good care of themselves, and can play hard at times too.

Dogs
Leave them alone and they eat your Xbox, shoes, or remote.  Play until they break something.  Poor hygiene.

Dog owners
Get into trouble on their own, poor hygiene, eat just about anything, don’t know when play time is over.

3. Cats
Playful until annoyed, then they lash out and walk away.

Cat owners
Nice until annoyed, then they lash out and go away to cool off.

Dogs
A mixed bag of emotion.  Humping your leg one minute, then seconds later, trying to eat it.

Dog owners
A mixed bag of emotion.  Humping your leg one minute, then seconds later, attacking you with a blender.

4.  Cats
Say about a single person:  I am comfortable, confident, secure, non-stinky, well mannered, and a perfect mate.

Dogs
Say about a single person:  Play with me!  Play with me!  Let me hump your leg!  Just pay attention to me!

5.  Cats
Fun and cuddly.  All they leave behind is random puke piles and fur.

Dogs:
Stinky and slobbery.  All they leave behind is fur, chewed up slobbery toys, poop they didn’t finish eating, and absolute destruction.

Again, this is a generalization and I am not against dogs.  I personally am not a fan of many of them, but dogs can be great for families, for the disabled, and for the elderly.  I, however, am not disabled or old and we like cats in my family.

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