DNN wrote from Minnetonka:

I have recently begun dating a woman who is extremely wasteful to the point that it’s gotten on my nerves.  To illustrate HOW wasteful this woman is, I’ll just say that I don’t recycle, I am okay throwing away leftovers when they’ve gone bad, I even throw away batteries and lightbulbs in the garbage.  I am the average wasteful person.  THIS WOMAN, however, will try a new mouthwash and if she doesn’t like it, toss the whole thing.  She’ll try on shirts and if they don’t fit, she’ll throw them rather than return them.  She’ll make dinner for the both of us and toss everything we don’t finish..not even leaving the chance open for leftovers (which really bites because she’s a great cook).

I don’t know how to bring this up with her.  We’re still “new” so I don’t want to ruin things, but I need to let her know I am not okay with everything she’s doing.

DNN in Mtka



This is the passive aggressive thing that Minnesotans are famous for.  If you have a problem, bring it up.  I have native Minnesotans tell me all of the time that they find my honesty refreshing (and some find it annoying), but it’s only because I was raised to approach an issue when it comes up, not two weeks after it happened.  This issue or ANY issue should be dealt with immediately.  It doesn’t have to be an argument, you don’t need to talk about it with other people first (but thanks for emailing me, really..), you just need to politely call her out on it.  You don’t have to be mean or blunt about it, but bring it up casually and turn it into a conversation.  Let her know that you’d gladly keep the leftover food or that you’d be happy to go with her to return the clothing.  Try to figure out why she is so wasteful and let her know that it may be a pet peeve of yours that went unrealized until now. Then, after you’ve worked things out with her, consider recycling your batteries and glass items at the very least. You’re welcome Earth.