Sit on my lap..

Several emails have come in from readers wondering what I’m asking for for Christmas this year.  I’ve already told my family my list, but here are a few items (that didn’t make the initial list) that I’d love to see under my tree:

1.  A box of SPAM lite-I know it’s not that healthy, but in a pinch, it makes a great sriracha covered breakfast wrap.

2.  The barefoot running shoes that look like feet (I can’t remember the name)-I want to run free like a dolphin.

3.  A new pair of dark, comfy relaxed fit jeans-Gotta look and feel good.

4.  One MILLION dollars-I owe Doctor Evil.

5.  A 40lb kettlebell/hand weight-I’ve outgrown the little puny 25lb handweights I’ve had at home for years.

6.  Six pack abs (Not some other dude with six pack abs..nice try jokers.)-Because, why not?

7.  Founder’s Cerise beer-It’s like liquid cherry pie.

8.  BSN’s Cinnamon Bun Dessert Protein-It’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch goodness in protein form!

9.  A new deck-DECK.  DECK.  Get your mind out of the gutter.

10. A duster that works-Mine doesn’t seem to just hides away under the kitchen sink.

11. Christmas cookies and holiday hearts-‘Cuz that’s the way the holiday starts…duh.

12. Someone to shovel my driveway-In a bikini.  Woman preferred…men will be turned away and/or arrested.

13. Pho-What’s Christmas without Pho? Word is, the first wiseman wanted to bring Pho to Jesus but couldn’t find a vietnamese restaurant nearby, so he settled on something different.

14.  A booth at the State Fair-I have some awesome Fair foods to sell.

15.  Danny Partridge in a pear tree-I just think that would be hilarious.

Happy Holidays everyone!