Go on, take the money and run.

PBYL wrote:

I was dating a woman up until two weeks ago and something happened to change my course of the relationship.  She got arrested for fraud.  I can’t really say everything that happened, because charges are still coming in, but from what it looks like, she was stealing people’s credit card numbers and doing some online purchases-then selling the things she bought for money.  It’s a pretty big amount too.

Anyway, I am writing in because I am wondering what I should do here.  We were in love, we’d talked about marriage, and she and I had even talked about having kids.  This is all before I found out her job was a lie and she just stole credit cars numbers and sat at her home all day, but I really did (do?) love her.  She didn’t steal from me and other than her job lie, she didn’t lie to me from what I can tell.  Taking all of that into consideration, I am guessing she’ll be going to prison for a LONG time.  I don’t know how these things work, but I am guessing fraud is a big deal.  My question to you is, should I wait for her?  Did she even love me or was I a part of her secret life of lies? 

PBYL

 

PBYL,

I didn’t get any more details from you, so I can’t really determine if you were lied to or just a part of her grand scheme,

English: First 4 digits of a credit card

Don't give your digits to just anyone!

but what I can tell you is that waiting for her doesn’t seem like a good decision either.  Maybe she loved you, maybe she didn’t.  Maybe she lied to you, maybe she didn’t.  The only thing constant here is if you do wait for her (whether you do reunite or not), you’ll always wonder if she’s telling you the truth.

Something like this is a HUGE breach of trust and takes some serious planning to pull off.  A lie that big needs to be built over time, not just spit out in one second.  Because of the grandiosity of this kind of betrayal, I feel that you’ll find yourself always second guessing her intentions and her honesty.  For that reason, I’d say fix yourself and move on without her. You’re better off being in a relationship where there are no trust issues.

Sean

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