Is it me?..

“Is it me” seems to be a popular phrase these days.  I get a ton of “is it me” emails where the person writes in and asks “is it me, or…” type of questions.  Most of these don’t require a lengthy response so I am bulking them all together and posting them in one email.  Here we go:

Jim wrote:  Is it me or is it completely retarded to make a man pay for the first few dates?

Its partially you Jim.  I think it should be an even playing field and anyone can pay if they want to.  Personally, I feel it is simply a good practice to be ready for anything.  Always be prepared to pay, never expect anyone to pay, and make sure to communicate.

Jenny wrote: Sean- Is it me, or is it weird to want to be tickled during sex?

Not just you.  I think its weird.  Really weird.

Paul wrote: Yo. Is it just me or do women seem to be after more athletic men these days?

It’s kind of you Paul.  Maybe not athletic, but in shape.  Think of health as a low level relationship insurance.  Keeling over can end any happy relationship and being healthy also shows people that you’re disciplined, that you’re organized, and that you have your priorities straight.  Why do you think that healthier people get better job offers? (This is true..)

Mara wrote: Is it just me or is the idea of pregnancy absolutely disgusting? I can’t even begin to describe how horrible that looks to me.

It isn’t just you, but you’re a minority with that one.  Not everyone loves pregnancy (especially the pushing it out part), but its a step in the whole process that can’t be removed.  I know many people that loved being pregnant, but I also know many people that find it a necessary evil of sorts.  If you don’t like it, adopt.

Anonymous wrote: Hi Sean, is it just me or should first date kisses be mandatory?  I like to know what I am getting into before making a second initial investment.

I’m going to say its just you on this one.  I don’t mind getting to know someone before kissing them.  Besides, would you want to kiss someone that you had a bad date with just because it was mandatory?  What about someone that had profile pics from 20 years ago that now looks NOTHING like their profile?  No thanks.

Raphael wrote: Is it me or are people oblivious to how many liquid calories they take in?  I see so many women complain about body issues while sipping on a 600 calorie cappuccino drink and it drives me crazy.

Not just you..and not just women.  I wish people would keep better tabs on liquid calories and tally that in to daily totals if they are looking to lose weight.  They’d be surprised at how they’re limiting themselves if they counted solid and liquid calories.  A glass of milk, for example is around 120-300 calories per glass.  While the nutritional benefits are there, if you’re drinking useless pop or juices during the day, that glass of milk may send you over your caloric intake goal, so you’ll need to choose wisely throughout the day.

Anonymous wrote:  Is it me or are there a ton of “cliche” statements on dating sites these days?  If I see another “tired of kissing frogs”, “must love dogs”,  some dumb movie quote, or “tired of games”, I am going to scream.  Why can’t people be original?

Not just you.  In fact, this is one of the most complained about topics I get emailed about but the complaint is usually just a complaint and I don’t have much left to respond to.  My 1st tip to ANYONE doing the online dating thing is to be original, be direct, be detailed, and be yourself.  If you’re using cliches or movie lines, you’re giving the people that read your profile the impression that you’re unoriginal and incapable of being your own person.  Yes, creating a dating profile sucks, but it’s a necessary evil.  My 2nd tip is to NEVER write two sentences and then write something like, “If you want to know more, just ask.”.  It’s lazy and it will get you nothing but crappy people who are also lazy.  If you’re putting yourself out there, PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE.

FT34 wrote:  Sean: Is it me, or are some gyms raising prices to insane amounts (despite the number of unemployed rising)?  I think it’s ridiculous that a gym would be charging anything over $40 these days for a single membership because everyone seems to offer all of the same stuff.  Sure, some tiny gyms don’t have classes but are open 24 hours, so it all washes out.  Why would anyone pay $50+ for a single membership these days?

It’s not just you.  Here’s a rough breakdown of major chain gym prices (non-contract) in my area:  $24.99 for Gold’s Gym, $70 for Lifetime, $70 for YMCA, $50 for Anytime, $24.99 for Snap, $30 for LA Fitness.  All have great hours, attentive and educated staff, good equipment, and are relatively well maintained.  Some offer classes and some have pools.  Most have some sort of protein drink machine or smoothie bar.  There is really nothing vastly better or worse in one gym versus another so I can’t understand why anyone would pay more than they could afford for virtually the same product.  Don’t let any sales person convince you that overpaying is worth the price.  It’s not.

Thanks for writing everyone!