Fouled on the rebound..

Eaganbabe12 wrote:

Sean,

I recently got back into the dating scene after a difficult breakup and it seems that it’s changed since I was last single.  The online scene is filled with people that seem to want something serious but when (after a few dates) I ask them for a relationship, they seem to get scared and back away.  It is really disheartening to see people that are not true with what they’re saying.  What gives?  Are they just trying to get into my pants?

Eaganbabe12

Justin Bieber at the 2010 White House Easter E...

"No, these are "J. Jills"..get it right.."

Eaganbabe12,

Hopefully not..it’s scary to me when guys wear women’s pants. I am looking at you Bieber..

All kidding aside, I feel many people that state they’re interested in a relationship are actually looking for a relationship, but they’re not looking to jump into something serious after two dates.  If you’re looking for a relationship right off of the bat, you’d better state that in your profile, otherwise people may just want to take a little more time to get to know you before making a commitment like that.

I get it though, we’re all getting older and no one wants to wait forever to find the right one..but how will you find the right one if you don’t get to know someone first?  If you’re looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship at the end of the second date (no matter how much you have talked or if you’ve been intimate), you’re in a minority here in the US and it may be more difficult to find someone that is okay with that.  However, if you’re willing to wait a bit and truly get to know someone, that moment when you DO enter a relationship with them won’t be just another “facebook status change”, it’ll be a lasting connection and hopefully a step toward something bigger for you both.

And yes, no matter where you look, there will be guys or girls that are just looking for sex.  It’s the way it is.  It’s best to recognize the signs and screen them out early.

Sean

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