Frog chin

Connie wrote:

Sean,

LOOOOVED the last post about being honest with breakups, but I’m having trouble with a breakup of my own.  I dated “John” for 2 years and over that time, he’s gained some serious weight.  It’s like he simply gave up trying to look good and just packed on pounds.  Now, he even has a “frog throat” which-in case you don’t know-is a fatty, wiggly piece that is between the chin and neck on fat people.  When he lowers his chin, it disappears into the fat and the fat sticks out like a frog bubble.

I’ve tried to motivate him, but he just keeps making excuses.  IF he does go to the gym, he’ll complain about it and then complain about being sore.  I take really good care of myself and I’d like him to do the same, but he won’t listen.  Now the inevitable has happened and I’m no longer attracted to him.  When I told him we should split up, he got angry and exploded about all that he does to take care of me (it’s nothing spectacular-we pretty much split half of the bills for everything).  My question to you is:  Should I tell him that his weight gain really IS the reason I am no longer attracted to him? I don’t want him to hate me, but I feel I should be truthful.

Connie

Connie,

You absolutely SHOULD tell him the truth.  He may get upset, he may be hurt, he may even hate you, but you’re doing the right thing by being honest about why things didn’t work.  Maybe down the road, when he finds someone new, he’ll realize that he needs to value the needs of his partner as much as his own and he’ll take better care of himself.  It’s better that he know the truth now, than wonder why things ended down the road. Sometimes the truth hurts.  If we fear the truth, our lives WILL eventually become a lie.  Do the right thing.

Good luck and let us know how it went.

Sean

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