I have an issue that I am hoping you can help me with. I went on a date with this guy, we’ll call him Don, a week ago and some weird crap happened. He and I were relaxing back at his place and began to fool around, when all of a sudden he asked me to spank him…with a paddle. I didn’t have a paddle, and I felt weird, so I made an excuse for not being able to help him out, but he said a book or magazine would also do, so since this weirdo was on all fours in my living room, I went for it and gave him a paddling for a bit, and then told him I had to get to bed because I had to get up early. He left and since then, he’s been texting me messages like, “I can’t wait for you to try my paddle” and “I keep thinking about you striking me.” I feel SO dirty and gross! How do I tell Don that I find his spanking fetish too freaky for me and that I don’t want to see him anymore?
You tell him exactly that. A phone call in which you simply say, “your fetish isn’t something I can’t get into and as a result, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” Don’t let the conversation go any further and if he tries to contact you after that, politely request that he not contact you any longer because you’re feeling harassed. Many people have different turns/fetishes/sexual desires, but if they don’t jive with what you’re into, it may be a dealbreaker and you should do the right thing and let the person go find a more compatible partner.