Cake and when not to eat it.

English: A cake.

This must be the whole cake. Not "half a"...

I was at work this weekend when a rather large woman lumbered into the store. Here is a breakdown of our conversation:

Me:  What can I help you find today?

Woman: (Grabs belly and jiggles it) I need a pill that can get rid of this.

Me: We have a few fat burners that can help with that.

Woman: Well, I heard on TV that you’re supposed to have a GLA pill.

Me: We have options with GLA as well.  (After hearing her options, she says she wants the fat burner).

Woman: I want the fat burner pill.  I ain’t trying to change how I eat.

Me: Well, both of these work more effectively if you’re at a 2000 calorie or less per day eating plan and some exercise.

Woman:  I’m nowhere near that, and I don’t exercise.  (Smacks lips) That’s why I want the pill.

Me:  (Hoping for the best) Oh, well you still may be able to lost a little without exercise.  You’re under 2000 calories per day in food and drink?

Woman: No, I am way over that.  Maybe like 4.

Me: (Shocked) 4?..as in 4000 calories per day?  Food and drink?

Woman: Well with drink it’s probably higher.

Me:  At that high of a level of caloric intake, there really isn’t anything that is going to help you lose all of your abdominal fat because there is no way you’re going to burn any calories at a level that will promote weight loss.

Woman:  I don’t want to burn calories, I want to burn fat.

Me: (I explain to her how the metabolic process works, I tell her how thermogenics work, and I explain why she needs exercise)  So, with all of that said, I would hate to waste your money on something that won’t work very well for you.

Woman: I want to buy it anyway.  I’m ’bout to go eat half a cake.

Me:  Y-you’re what?  A half of-

Woman:  Yeah, a half a cake.  Not a whole one.  I need this to burn my fat.

As I finished ringing her up, she snatched the pills and left.

Weight loss is as simple as mental discipline. Some people have it and some people don’t.  If you don’t have the discipline and want to lose weight, you’d better damn well figure out where you left your determination.  Here’s a hint:  It’s not on the couch, and it’s not in that bag of Doritos.  You need to get your butt out of the house and into a gym.  Leave your cell phone at home or in your locker and you need to work.  I’m not talking about 10 minutes on a treadmill either.  You need to get some weights and you need to push your body with a predetermined set of exercises and a good amount of cardio.  It’s called a “workout” for a reason..you need to work.  You SHOULD be weak and sore when you’re done, but you just need to go home, have some protein, and get a good night’s sleep (you NEED 6+ hours in one shot to keep your body from storing fat).

Don’t be like the woman above.  You’re strong enough to reach whatever goals you set for yourself, so make sure you don’t let anything (nights out drinking, time wasting video games, or even your own lazy attitude) stand in your way.

Good luck.

Sean

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2 comments

  1. Anonymous · March 12, 2012

    Um it’s blank…>?

  2. Minnesodad · March 12, 2012

    It’s fixed.

Comments are closed.