First time reader, first time writer here and I am hoping you can help me with something. I’ve been dating this guy for awhile and he likes to talk dirty in bed- but when he gets into it, he starts talking gibberish, like using all sorts of weird nicknames and slang words rather than just being “normal”. I can’t tell you how much of a turnoff it is to hear, “I want to feel your snozzy vernash against me” (or something like that) while trying to be intimate. Don’t get me wrong, I like dirty talk, but he gets a little too creative and is either having some sort of Harry Potter fantasy in his head and just inventing crap to say, or he just doesn’t get it that it makes me almost laugh while we’re having sex. What do I do?
I couldn’t help but to laugh while reading this, so I completely understand why you’d feel like laughing. This weird word thing would definitely be a dealbreaker for me, so if this is something you can’t handle, try talking with him about it to let him know how you feel about the Harry Potter dirty talk. If he is unresponsive to your request to change his habits, maybe it’s time to let him find someone who is into that sort of thing. Either that, or wear an Ipod during intimacy so you don’t have to listen to it. Maybe you could also dress up as Hagrid and scare him a little.