Drop a size, drop your pants.

Marie wrote:


I am a recovering “fatty” who has lost half of her bodyweight in the past two years.  I now eat right, I workout, and with the help of a few surgeries to fix droopy skin, I look fantastic.  The problem is, I was largely ignored and ridiculed throughout my teenage and college years for being so obese, and now that I’m verifiably more attractive, I am finding it hard to say no to the attention I’m getting from men.  I’ve had LOTS of partners in the past year and I’ve enjoyed it, but I can’t seem to slow down enough to find the right guy.  I guess you could call this my “slut phase” and I’m looking for your tips on ending it.  I’d like to find mister right.


Legs of a woman
That's right. Keep those puppies closed for a bit..


I can understand how your elevated self esteem may make you more confident in the bedroom, and I can even understand your “making up for lost time” in the bedroom, but you will definitely not find Mr. Right in the course of a one night stand.  My first tip to you is to stop having sex. Close your damn legs long enough to get to know someone.

Yes, we know, you’re hot..but that doesn’t mean that you need to be “legs in the air on a Tuesday” hot.  Just be comfortable with who you are as a person and don’t rely on sex to make you feel complete.  You should be able to have a conversation, get to know people, and feel comfortable with who you are without sex.

Your self-esteem may have been damaged during your overweight years and I’d also recommend seeing a psychologist.  They may help you better uncover why you are having such issues with slowing your urges.  I know sex can be healthy and fun, but at the wrong end, it can also be dangerous and dirty.  You want to find a way to control your urges and maintain a sense of identity outside of the bedroom.  Make sense?

Good luck!