Since I turned 25, I’ve had one short lived relationship after the other. It always went the same way: I’d find someone, start getting to know them, we’d make out (or in a few occasions have sex), and things would begin to change. A week or so later, the guy would usually break things off. I tried waiting on the physical stuff, but it always happened that way when the physical stuff came into play. I first wondered if my coochie stunk. Several guys I asked said it did not. I then wondered if I had the “guy’s worst nightmare” of bitter nipple (where your bra is either dirty or you’re sweating and as a result your nipples taste bad), but several guys also said that wasn’t the issue. Finally, after one guy stopped talking to me, I mustered up enough courage to ask him why. His response? “You lied.”
I lied? How? I asked him. “Your bras are SUUUUPER padded,” he said. “It makes you look like a C or D cup, but you’re an A cup and it’s a really big lie and a letdown when a guy finds out you’re much smaller than you’re making it appear.” He went on and told me that he didn’t care about boobs or boob size, but it made him feel like he’d been deceived and he couldn’t deal with it. I called a few of the other guys (that I still talked to when we ran into each other around town) and they all (reluctantly) verified the same thing. Every single guy said they wanted a woman that was either comfortable with her shape or had implants. Padded bras didn’t cut it.
I was shocked. I wasn’t getting implants and I didn’t feel like I should get rid of my bras. I did though. I went down bit by bit to a bra that is now almost completely unpadded and I even go braless at times. I’ve even kept a relationship for over 6 months and he loves my breasts. I told him my story and he ALSO agreed that a super padded bra is a deal breaker for him. I don’t know how many women know this, but I wanted to pass it along. Guys want a woman that is comfortable with who she is and one that doesn’t lie about it with padding and cushions.
Keep up the great work!
Thanks for the input! I totally agree with the guys. A tiny bit of padding is okay, but if you’re an A cup disguised as a D, I will cry inside when I discover that. Any guy would. And bitter nipple is awful as well. Women and men both need to be comfortable with their appearance or they need to put in the effort to change it. Padding is not effort..it is a lie. It’s like gluing a Mercedes logo on a Chevy Impala. It’s just not the same thing.
I am seeing more dating catchphrases overused these days. Maybe enough people didn’t read your first post. (here, folks) “Looking for love”, “tired of BS”, and “live laugh love” are 3 I am seeing too much of. Any more you know of?
Here is a new list of phrases to avoid in your online dating profile:
Must love dogs (my dogs are my babies)-This says to anyone reading your profile that your dog will always come before any human. You’re overlooking the fact that in a relationship, people should ALWAYS come first! Your perceived inflexibility and the demand that someone must love dogs in order to be in your life will guarantee you are single for quite awhile.
Down to earth-We’re all down to Earth. We live here. If you mean level headed or calm/sane/not psycho, say so and tell the reader WHY or HOW you are what you say you are.
Looking for my king-So you’re looking for a man that controls you and cheats on his “queen” with his palace mistresses? Many of the powerful kings in history did these things. Stop worrying about being “taken care of” and materialistic BS and start worrying about substance in a relationship..then you wouldn’t have to come back (brokenhearted) to the dating sites every month.
*repeat*I can’t believe I am doing this (I feel weird doing this)- You better not feel weird. Online dating is more popular than it has ever been, and it’s now more popular than blind dating/meeting someone at a bar for anyone over the age of 25. If you can’t believe you’re “doing this”, chances are you fear change, you’re also very protective of who you talk to on social networking sites and you don’t give out your cellphone number to those looking to talk after a month of emailing. Get with the times people, this is normal now. Approaching someone in your local Target store will get you tazed these days.
Work hard play harder-No one wants to read this. If you love your job or if you’re a hard worker, that’s great, but no one really cares that you put more emphasis on your social life than work. A successful relationship all about balance and if you don’t have it, you need to find it.
Live love laugh-You’re using the most overused phrase for anyone with a place to live. It’s on walls, in bathrooms, in kitchens, on napkins, and..by the way, “live, laugh love” is on toilet paper holders now. People will remember you every time they wipe. Your reliance on an overused and outdated catch phrase signals to the reader that you fear change, you rely on “crutches” to get you through life, and that you’re unoriginal. Spice it up a bit and be yourself.
You won’t be disappointed-Really? Ever? Wow, I didn’t know perfect people existed. So you’re successful, you’re in peak physical condition, you have a killer personality, you make a decent living, you can cook, you are artistic, you’re sensual, you’re loving….do you see where this is going? You are bound to disappoint someone, so it’s better that you leave this phrase off of your profile.
Kid tested mother approved-You stole a motto from a box of Kix. It’s not even a GREAT cereal, so, like the cereal, you’re giving the reader the impression that you’re bland and slightly sweet, but not worth having around often. Ick.
Looking for the one (looking for love)- Isn’t everyone on the dating site? Putting this in your profile is like typing, “I am online dating” on an online dating website, or saying “I am breathing,” every time you take a breath. We know why you’re here Captain Obvious, just leave this out of your profile.
Friends first-You’re in the wrong place if you’re putting this in your profile. If you’re looking for a friend/penpal/roomie, you need to try Craigslist or another medium..not online dating. If you’re looking to take things slow and potentially build a relationship, don’t worry, most people want to get to know someone for a few months before they officially enter into a relationship. Just explain that you’re looking to get to know someone before committing and be clear as to what that means to you.
Sick of jerks(tired of lies, sick of BS)-Congratulations, you’ve either told the normal people that you invite drama into your life enough to be sick of it, or you’ve made yourself a target for more doughbaggery. Leave this off of your profile and learn to make better choices in life.
Cougar in training– By slang definition a cougar is a woman 40 years or older that pursues men 10 or more years younger than they are. By definition as well, a “puma” is a proud black “cougar” that does the same thing. If you’re not single and over 40, AND if you’re not looking for someone 10 or more years younger than you, AND (in the case of “puma”) if you’re not black/african/african american/etc., you shouldn’t be using these terms..ever.
Looking for a bad boy- Chances are, bad boys are why your relationships have failed. Bad boys are exciting when you’re in high school or college, but no one ever gets or stays married to the bad boy. Leave this off of your profile and refine what you’re looking for. Do you want heartache and betrayal or do you want happiness?