More dating phrases to avoid

Ossa wrote:

Sean,

I am seeing more dating catchphrases overused these days.  Maybe enough people didn’t read your first post. (here, folks) “Looking for love”, “tired of BS”, and “live laugh love” are 3 I am seeing too much of.  Any more you know of?

Ossa

An example of one of True's online ads.

You can date my breasts, but not me..

Ossa,

Here is a new list of phrases to avoid in your online dating profile:

Must love dogs (my dogs are my babies)-This says to anyone reading your profile that your dog will always come before any human.  You’re overlooking the fact that in a relationship, people should ALWAYS come first!  Your perceived inflexibility and the demand that someone must love dogs in order to be in your life will guarantee you are single for quite awhile.

Down to earth-We’re all down to Earth.  We live here.  If you mean level headed or calm/sane/not psycho, say so and tell the reader WHY or HOW you are what you say you are.

Looking for my king-So you’re looking for a man that controls you and cheats on his “queen” with his palace mistresses?  Many of the powerful kings in history did these things.  Stop worrying about being “taken care of” and materialistic BS and start worrying about substance in a relationship..then you wouldn’t have to come back (brokenhearted) to the dating sites every month.

*repeat*I can’t believe I am doing this (I feel weird doing this)-  You better not feel weird.  Online dating is more popular than it has ever been, and it’s now more popular than blind dating/meeting someone at a bar for anyone over the age of 25.  If you can’t believe you’re “doing this”, chances are you fear change, you’re also very protective of who you talk to on social networking sites and you don’t give out your cellphone number to those looking to talk after a month of emailing.  Get with the times people, this is normal now.  Approaching someone in your local Target store will get you tazed these days.

Work hard play harder-No one wants to read this.  If you love your job or if you’re a hard worker, that’s great, but no one really cares that you put more emphasis on your social life than work.  A successful relationship all about balance and if you don’t have it, you need to find it.

Live love laugh-You’re using the most overused phrase for anyone with a place to live.  It’s on walls, in bathrooms, in kitchens, on napkins, and..by the way, “live, laugh love” is on toilet paper holders now.  People will remember you every time they wipe.  Your reliance on an overused and outdated catch phrase signals to the reader that you fear change, you rely on “crutches” to get you through life, and that you’re unoriginal.  Spice it up a bit and be yourself.

You won’t be disappointed-Really?  Ever?  Wow, I didn’t know perfect people existed.  So you’re successful, you’re in peak physical condition, you have a killer personality, you make a decent living, you can cook, you are artistic, you’re sensual, you’re loving….do you see where this is going?  You are bound to disappoint someone, so it’s better that you leave this phrase off of your profile.

Kid tested mother approved-You stole a motto from a box of Kix.  It’s not even a GREAT cereal, so, like the cereal, you’re giving the reader the impression that you’re bland and slightly sweet, but not worth having around often.  Ick.

Looking for the one (looking for love)-  Isn’t everyone on the dating site?  Putting this in your profile is like typing, “I am online dating” on an online dating website, or saying “I am breathing,” every time you take a breath. We know why you’re here Captain Obvious, just leave this out of your profile.

Friends first-You’re in the wrong place if you’re putting this in your profile.  If you’re looking for a friend/penpal/roomie, you need to try Craigslist or another medium..not online dating.  If you’re looking to take things slow and potentially build a relationship, don’t worry, most people want to get to know someone for a few months before they officially enter into a relationship.  Just explain that you’re looking to get to know someone before committing and be clear as to what that means to you.

Sick of jerks(tired of lies, sick of BS)-Congratulations, you’ve either told the normal people that you invite drama into your life enough to be sick of it, or you’ve made yourself a target for more doughbaggery.  Leave this off of your profile and learn to make better choices in life.

Cougar in training–  By slang definition a cougar is a woman 40 years or older that pursues men 10 or more years younger than they are.  By definition as well, a “puma” is a proud black “cougar” that does the same thing.  If you’re not single and over 40, AND if you’re not looking for someone 10 or more years younger than you, AND (in the case of “puma”) if you’re not black/african/african american/etc., you shouldn’t be using these terms..ever.

Looking for a bad boy-  Chances are, bad boys are why your relationships have failed.  Bad boys are exciting when you’re in high school or college, but no one ever gets or stays married to the bad boy.  Leave this off of your profile and refine what you’re looking for.  Do you want heartache and betrayal or do you want happiness?

This site is lame-Then leave you idiot.

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One comment

  1. CountryClaire · April 14, 2012

    A great post! I did not see the one that I have seen in past…”My kids are my everything, I wouldn’t trade them for anything….” – this has always thrown me. I think children are grand and I definitely think a parent should have their parenting & dating priorities in order… but, the wording has always irked me. Great blog, Sean!

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