Rolling like thunder under the covers

Shelly wrote:

Sean,

I have a problem.  It’s not with anyone except myself, but I am worried that it will ruin things with a guy that I’ve just started dating.  For some reason, I really like this guy, but even just spending time with him makes me gassy. 

I’ve started spending nights at his place, and I find myself farting myself awake.  He’s a heavy sleeper (or he pretends he is), and I am worried that he’ll be grossed out by one of my night bombs, should he ever smell it.  I’ve tried eating better, eating less, drinking less, drinking more water, and even bean-o pills, but nothing works.  I keep night farting.

Is this normal, or did something go mysteriously wrong with me?  Could it be a biological reaction to this guy?  Any help you can provide would be wonderful.

Shelly

Shelly,

I’ve tackled this issue for the daytime hours but night farting is actually pretty common.  It can be diet, alcohol intake, nerves, or a host of other things.  My rule is, if you subconsciously rip one mid-slumber, then you’re not at fault for anything.  If you squeeze one out while awake, you’re totally at fault. I’ve been farted on hundreds of times while sleeping and I’d imagine that I’ve farted hundreds of times myself.  When it all comes down to it, you just have to hope your partner isn’t awake to smell it.  That is a rude awakening, if there ever was one.

Over time, your nerves about this guy will settle and you’ll fart less.  Keep eating healthy, scale back on the alcohol and dairy before bed and see what happens in the long run.  If all else fails, try to invent this:

Sean

Advertisements

Say a little prayer

I haven’t been a “pray-er” for over a decade.  I am not sure when it happened, but I’d venture to guess it was sommewhere in my 20’s.  I’d find myself “thinking good thoughts” or “hoping for the best” for someone, but I honestly couldn’t bring myself to be a “pray-er”. 

I’m in a pretty bad spot right now and I am amazed at the kindness and generosity that people around me have shown me.  Many have even said they’d keep Olivia and I in their prayers.  It floored me the other day when a friend, and now ex-coworker, said that to me on the phone.  It was touching, to say the least.

I looked up the definition of prayer and here’s what it said: “to address God or a god with adoration, confession, supplication, or thanksgiving”.  I then realized that I’d given up praying because I had become disenfranchised with modern Christianity and it’s conservativism and close-mindedness.  What it comes down to is that I didn’t give up on God (or any god for that matter), I just gave up on the church beliefs. 

Outside of religious beliefs, prayer can also help.  It gives people something to believe in, and something to hope for.  It puts people at ease, and it touches people when they need it the most.  I have been touched by people saying they’d pray for me because it’s what I needed the most, but I’d just been expecting to hear “Sorry to hear”, or “Hang in there”.  In my low point of this week, it felt good knowing that people believed in me.

This doesn’t mean I’m headed to church this afternoon or that my beliefs have changed, but it has started me thinking.  I’m thinking maybe I should start keeping other people in my prayers as they’ve done for me.

Thank you all.  More posts to come.