I haven’t been a “pray-er” for over a decade. I am not sure when it happened, but I’d venture to guess it was sommewhere in my 20’s. I’d find myself “thinking good thoughts” or “hoping for the best” for someone, but I honestly couldn’t bring myself to be a “pray-er”.
I’m in a pretty bad spot right now and I am amazed at the kindness and generosity that people around me have shown me. Many have even said they’d keep Olivia and I in their prayers. It floored me the other day when a friend, and now ex-coworker, said that to me on the phone. It was touching, to say the least.
I looked up the definition of prayer and here’s what it said: “to address God or a god with adoration, confession, supplication, or thanksgiving”. I then realized that I’d given up praying because I had become disenfranchised with modern Christianity and it’s conservativism and close-mindedness. What it comes down to is that I didn’t give up on God (or any god for that matter), I just gave up on the church beliefs.
Outside of religious beliefs, prayer can also help. It gives people something to believe in, and something to hope for. It puts people at ease, and it touches people when they need it the most. I have been touched by people saying they’d pray for me because it’s what I needed the most, but I’d just been expecting to hear “Sorry to hear”, or “Hang in there”. In my low point of this week, it felt good knowing that people believed in me.
This doesn’t mean I’m headed to church this afternoon or that my beliefs have changed, but it has started me thinking. I’m thinking maybe I should start keeping other people in my prayers as they’ve done for me.
Thank you all. More posts to come.