I have a dilemma. I have been dating “Sue” for 8 months and we have a great relationship, except for one thing…Sue is obsessed with collecting Hello Kitty things and its ruining how I feel about her.
When I say obsessed, I don’t mean she has a shelf full of Hello Kitty stuff, I mean she has an entire apartment full of HK themed stuff ranging from sheets and silverware to a TP holder and coat hooks. I can’t tell you how awful it is to wake up between HK sheets, or to squirt hand soap from a HK soap dispenser. I feel my testosterone die more and more each day.
Here’s the kicker: We are 34! This isn’t like some cute high school thing, she is a grown woman! I have tried to talk with her several times about this and when we talked about moving in together about a month ago, I told her I couldn’t do it unless she confined HK to one room only. Her reaction is always the same, she pouts and cries and tries to get me to feel sorry for her, almost like her HK pieces are people that I am asking her to unfriend.
I don’t know what to do here and I am afraid if I don’t get a handle on this, things may end quickly, and on a bad note.
I know a few adults with theme obsessions. HK, popular bands, movies, and even sports/comic memorabilia. Personally, I collected comics in high school, like it was a business, but I didn’t hoard them..and I think that is where the line is often blurred. Some women like Joe Mauer from the Twins, but I have yet to meet one that would wipe their ass with Joe Mauer themed toilet paper. As an adult, we need to know where to draw the line.
For some reason, these theme obsessed people seem to believe that the more things they collect, the more complete their life may be. Its almost as if each piece is a part of a jigsaw puzzle and they want to complete it. What they don’t realize is, for most people, life isn’t completed by objects, its completed by the relationships they form and the love they are shown.
I like supplements, and I am sure some people would say that I have a larger than average selection, but I keep my selection trimmed, I get by with lots of samples, and I don’t buy things I can’t use. I don’t always buy the new “thing”, I don’t spend money when money is in short supply, and I use up what I purchase.
You have two choices here. You can back away now and tell her its too much, or you can tell her how you feel and suggest you both attend couples therapy to discover an effective method to deal with this issue. I wouldn’t advise tackling this in solo sessions because it really does seem like something you need to fix as a team, so you may really need to do some convincing to get her to agree to therapy.
I hope you two find a way to figure this out.