The highway

Karen wrote:

Sean,
Maybe you can help me out.  I am a successful, educated, witty woman that is having trouble keeping a relationship.  It’s not that I am at a loss as to why, they’ve all said the same thing:  I am stubborn, anal retentive/ocd,  and overly picky.

I know this, but I don’t think of these as bad.  I like things my way and I don’t see the harm in getting my way because its usually the best option. 

Guys just don’t stick around to see the other side of things.  It takes a few months for me to show it, and guys get scared off within a few dates.  Its getting to be a pattern and I am wondering what to do-without changing who I am.

Karen

Karen,
I don’t know how old you are, but to be an adult and to be so picky and stuck in your ways that you’re scaring off men means you have some maturity issues or some sort of defense mechanism you’ve built.

You can’t be in a productive relationship if you maintain a “my way or the highway” mentality.  A relationship is a two way street and needs (NEEDS!) a give and take among both people involved.  You need to learn to give in once in awhile, to not feel the need to control every decision, and you need to learn to accept feedback from others.  A relationship is 100% effort  from both sides and you haven’t grasped that concept yet. 

There is no control in a relationship.  A relationship is free will and effortless love from both people.  If you’re calling every shot, you’ll never find happiness because you’ll never have a real relationship.

Think about it.  Change who you are.

Sean

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