I am a recently married 35 year old who is having difficulty adjusting in her new marriage. Here is the issue: I like sex. We have only been married 9 months and I feel like we don’t have as much sex as we used to. It used to be 4 or 5 nights a week, but now its one or two. I want more. My husband caught me “taking care of myself” the other day and said he feels that masturbation is unnecessary in a marriage because you should save yourselves for each other. Now, I can’t do that AND I am not having enough sex. What do I do? Am I doomed?
You aren’t doomed. While I somewhat believe that masturbation isn’t necessary while in a relationship or marriage (not wrong, just unnecessary..like dusting when you have a live in maid), I also feel that both people in that union need to have an understanding of where the other’s sexual needs are and if they aren’t being met, a conversation should tale place so that both parties are on the same page. I am not saying you need to be sexless and I am not saying he needs to fulfill you until his junk falls off..you two just need to understand each other and apparently that isn’t happening. If you’re not having your needs met, then by all means, take things into your own hands. I really hope the two of you can find common ground. Let me know if there is anything else I can do.