Internal DJ

Ben wrote:

Sean,
You haven’t posted any music posts lately, what are you listening to these days?

Ben

Ben,
I have been listening to a ton of new music lately. I’ll list them below and include any videos I can find as well:

Sunlounger- One of my all time favorite downtempo DJs. He makes music that feels like the end of summer. I imagine warm nights and a drink with a view of the lake/ocean.

Coheed and Cambria-Just plain awesome. They have a new album in stores in October.

I also love the Killers and have really been digging their new album Battle Born.

I like Walk the Moon, Blondfire, and Breaking Laces..

I like Delta Spirit, Gaslight Anthem’s new album, and Grouplove.

One band I can’t stand?  Mumford and Sons.  I think they sound like a crappy, high school hipster band playing in a school gym at a school for hipsters (think of the school from X-Men only with more canvas shoes and vegan cookbooks..and twice the price, because hipsters pay more for crap).  Mumford makes me want to slap the next guy I see wearing a cardigan and throw his IPhone in a lake (Lake Harriet of course, because that’s the hipster lake).  End of rant.

So there you have it.  Music I am listening to and one band I’m clearly not.

Sean

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..with a kid.

I saw a child crying at the gas station this morning because, according to the attendant, his mother (idiot) forgot him there. Now, my parents will deny this, but they forgot to come and get me (or just fell asleep at home and didn’t wake up in time) at a city high school dance once, but I was in high school and not an infant or toddler. Stupid parents are the that knowingly make stupid decisions that affect their children. After having a discussion about “stupid parents” with someone I work with, I was inspired to write.

There are parenting classes out there that teach things like cpr and diaper changing, but where are the classes to train the “stupid parents” on how to handle being a parent? Classes on situations (“you’ve been invited to the bar, do you take your newborn?”), classes on health (“mountain dew is NOT a substitute for breast milk” and “why smoking in a car with a child is bad”), and classes on basics (“letting your child run loose in the car is unsafe and makes you look like a trashy douche”) would help the “stupid” population immensely. I also feel that ending shows that glorify stupid parents (toddlers in tiaras, honey boo boo, etc) would be a step in the right direction because it would be an end to parents seeking riches for being trashy, fame-obsessed parents.

In all practicality, these things may never happen. We may always have stupid parents that do stupid things because they don’t think like normal people. Luckily, we have laws to weed them out and to teach them lessons like “why it’s not okay to bring your 2 year old to a strip club” and “kids are not safe locked in a hot car for a few minutes on a hot day while you buy your vodka”.

Sean

Places

Anonymous wrote:

38 year old male here, hoping you can lend a hand. Here is my story:

I became a setpfather at 23 when I married a 23 year old woman that had a 1yr old son. Last month, she and I divorced, and she told me I couldn’t keep spending time with “her” son. Now, neither one of us did anything wrong and there is no animosity between any of us, buy hearing her say that crushed me. Her son and I spend alot of time together and after 16 years, I feel like he is my son too, too and he even calls me dad. His real father never came into the picture and I would still consider myself this boy’s father, so why do you think my ex wife is doing this? CAN she legally do this??

Anonymous

Anonymous,
I didn’t get a response as to which state you’re from, so I can’t really give any legal perspective here, but I’d say you’re right in feeling like your son is being taken away. I could see someone doing what your ex did if you only knew each other for a year or two, but after 15 years, I’d say you’re easily the only father he’s ever really had.

You say there was no animosity and no one did anything wrong, but there is something else there that is causing your ex to take this cause of action. Maybe an addiction problem, some sort of honesty/trust issue, or maybe she’s simply looking to strike an emotional chord if you suggested the divorce. I didn’t get a response when I asked for more information, so I can’t be more specific. If I get a response, I will happily give more guidance.

I’d meet with a legal professional that deals with children and divorce and determine your options. I hope it works out. Custody battles aren’t often easy, you’re in an even rougher spot and you have my sympathy.

Sean

Knowledge

Anonymous wrote:

Sean,

Congrats on your engagement!  I was curious about something and since you’re a man, I wanted to ask you.  What made you want to marry your fiance?  I ask just so I’ll know what it is to want a man want to marry a woman…preferably me.  Lol.  I hope this isn’t too random or offputting and if it is, just ignore it.  I do really hope I get to hear what you have to say though!  🙂smile  Until then, have a blessed day!

Anonymous

Anonymous,

What made me want to marry my fiancee?  I married her because, as I explained to her, I love her so much it hurts.  She is someone I can laugh with, someone that motivates and inspires me, and someone whom I love more than anything.  Something inside of me just kept saying, “This is the one.”

But for many, I think it all goes back to dating.  Some people think that by seeming busy or by playing hard to get, they’ll seem more attractive…they are wrong.  If you’re looking to find a serious relationship, you need to put in serious work.  This means you need to be available, willing, and eager to meet someone.  People that are always working or always busy with other things (yes, even if they have kids) are often times not ready for a serious relationship.  If you find yourself listening to endless excuses about someone making time to spend with you, it’s better to set your sights elsewhere.  Other people also feel that acting like someone other than themselves or “buying love” (where you overcompensate for emotional shortcomings by buying gifts or material things for someone), you’ll find true love…they are also wrong.  Love is beyond image, love is beyond money or power, and love is equal.

I feel that if you love someone, you smile more than you fight, you find ways to overcome challenges together rather than dividing apart, and you communicate.  Marriage is beyond that.  You don’t marry a fantastic hookup, you marry your best friend who (hopefully) is also fantastic in that area as well.  When you love someone, you just know.  When you want to marry someone, you know it, you feel it, and you yearn for it.

Marriage should be taken seriously.  It’s not an “I’ll try” or a “well if this doesn’t work..” kind of mentality, it takes a “this is forever..” mentality.  If you can’t see forever with the person, you shouldn’t even be contemplating marriage.  When the time comes, chances are, the guy will be nervous and will be acting differently (but in a good way), he may be stammering, he may try to guide conversation to a certain topic, and he may take a few times to finally get the courage up to ask you.  When it happens, you’ll probably forget many of the details as you try to maintain your calm and slow your heart from racing, you may start shaking, and you may even cry.  Maybe.

From that point on, it’s a series of marriage classes, arrangements and reservations until the big day.  During that time it may be stressful (I’ll let you know) or hectic (yes, that’s already happening), but it should also be fun.  Life is an adventure and if you have someone to share it with, it can be an even greater adventure.  Enjoy!

Blooooorgh

Cyanne wrote,

Sean,

A guy I am dating has a unique issue: he gets nauseous by certain sights and smells and can even vomit if he is around them too long. Lets use pizza as an example (even though he is fine with that). If it were on tv, he would groan. If he saw it, he’d visibly gag. If he was in front of it, he’d have to run or he’d puke. At first, I thought it was something I could handle, but he has so many sensitivities that it’s a big problem. I can’t even take him home for fear he’ll spew on my family.

Do I just walk away from this one, or what can I do here? Have you ever heard of this?

Cyanne

Cyanne,

I have encountered this on a smaller scale in the past. Someone I went to school with was sickened by the smell of coffee. She even vomited one time while sitting next to another classmate.

If you really like this guy, try to help him find a medical or holistic fix for this issue. You shouldn’t be afraid to take him home to the family. Maybe a psychologist could help if it is deemed a mental issue.
I tried looking for articles on this subject and didn’t find much beyond what I just recommended, so maybe a medical professional can unlock some options.

I hope it works out. If not, buy your family some rain suits and see how it goes.

Sean