Knowledge

Anonymous wrote:

Sean,

Congrats on your engagement!  I was curious about something and since you’re a man, I wanted to ask you.  What made you want to marry your fiance?  I ask just so I’ll know what it is to want a man want to marry a woman…preferably me.  Lol.  I hope this isn’t too random or offputting and if it is, just ignore it.  I do really hope I get to hear what you have to say though!  🙂smile  Until then, have a blessed day!

Anonymous

Anonymous,

What made me want to marry my fiancee?  I married her because, as I explained to her, I love her so much it hurts.  She is someone I can laugh with, someone that motivates and inspires me, and someone whom I love more than anything.  Something inside of me just kept saying, “This is the one.”

But for many, I think it all goes back to dating.  Some people think that by seeming busy or by playing hard to get, they’ll seem more attractive…they are wrong.  If you’re looking to find a serious relationship, you need to put in serious work.  This means you need to be available, willing, and eager to meet someone.  People that are always working or always busy with other things (yes, even if they have kids) are often times not ready for a serious relationship.  If you find yourself listening to endless excuses about someone making time to spend with you, it’s better to set your sights elsewhere.  Other people also feel that acting like someone other than themselves or “buying love” (where you overcompensate for emotional shortcomings by buying gifts or material things for someone), you’ll find true love…they are also wrong.  Love is beyond image, love is beyond money or power, and love is equal.

I feel that if you love someone, you smile more than you fight, you find ways to overcome challenges together rather than dividing apart, and you communicate.  Marriage is beyond that.  You don’t marry a fantastic hookup, you marry your best friend who (hopefully) is also fantastic in that area as well.  When you love someone, you just know.  When you want to marry someone, you know it, you feel it, and you yearn for it.

Marriage should be taken seriously.  It’s not an “I’ll try” or a “well if this doesn’t work..” kind of mentality, it takes a “this is forever..” mentality.  If you can’t see forever with the person, you shouldn’t even be contemplating marriage.  When the time comes, chances are, the guy will be nervous and will be acting differently (but in a good way), he may be stammering, he may try to guide conversation to a certain topic, and he may take a few times to finally get the courage up to ask you.  When it happens, you’ll probably forget many of the details as you try to maintain your calm and slow your heart from racing, you may start shaking, and you may even cry.  Maybe.

From that point on, it’s a series of marriage classes, arrangements and reservations until the big day.  During that time it may be stressful (I’ll let you know) or hectic (yes, that’s already happening), but it should also be fun.  Life is an adventure and if you have someone to share it with, it can be an even greater adventure.  Enjoy!

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One thought on “Knowledge

  1. Anonymous says:

    I just wanted to say thank you for writing this post. It makes a lot of sense since I’ve felt that before but unfortunately has not had it returned “forever”. I bet it’ll be the best feeling ever when I do get to meet my match. 🙂

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