We CAN’T make the world stop.

Sivan wrote:

Sean,

I have a issue I am hoping you can help with.  I am 19, and was really into Facebook for awhile.  I met this guy and we dated pretty seriously for a bit, but things cooled off and we ended up “taking a break”.  I found it too hard to log on to Facebook (we met through friends) and see his picture with our shared friends, so I deleted my Facebook.  I was off of it for about 6 months.  We ran into each other over the summer and talked for a bit and I got the urge to join Facebook again and ask him out (I didn’t know his number, he changed companies), but when I joined, I saw he was dating someone else.

Why would he talk with me if he was dating someone new?  Why would he just move on like that without telling me?  I’m new to the dating world and I realize this may all sound stupid, but I’d like some advice.

Sivan

Sivan,

As much as we may like, time in the online world doesn’t stop if you aren’t a part of it.  You were with this guy and things were great, but life goes on after “taking a break”.  He obviously moved on and didn’t feel the need to share this with you because you were no longer a regular part of his life.  I can only assume that he didn’t notice you deleted your profile and he simply thought that you’d see his relationship change online, therefore making any conversation about moving on irrelevant. There is no rule or “social norm” dictating that you have to call an ex to tell her you’ve moved on, it just happens.

He talked with you to be friendly.  I don’t know what was said in that conversation, but I feel that avoiding you in that instance would have been rude, so he was simply being sociable.

Sorry to hear this is the experience you’ve had while being new to dating, but chances are, you’ll have a few more disappointments along your journey as well.  We all do..and then we find someone great.

Sean

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