Rotten Apples

Apple’s “BIG” announcement of new stuff today was a big disappointment to me (and apparently others too, judging by the feedback thread I was participating in).  I was hoping for some big mobile news, and as of 207pm, I’d only heard about a mini-me version of Mac Pro, new MB Airs with a longer battery (which makes them more like PCs and Android computers now), and the IOS7 “updates” which seemed more like they were catching up to 2010.  No new Iphone was discussed as of yet, no 14-20 hour phone battery, they talked about an “audio only Face Time” (..gosh, really?  Isn’t that called a phone call?), a South Park looking redesign of the presentation, a camera that is like Instagram with filters, and an updated Imessage that makes it look more Microsoft-y.

I-Yawn.

I’m taking this opportunity to throw a few ideas over to Apple/Google/Microsoft as to what their next phone should have…

1.      First and foremost, the world needs a 14-20 hour heavy use battery.  Develop the technology or limit the drain from apps.  Get. This. Done.

2.      I’d love the ability to take a picture of something in another language and have the camera translate it.  Tourism bonus.  Oh, it’s a TOILET..not a hand washing station.

3.      Make the email layouts for ANY provider better.  Unified inbox sucks.  No one wants to accidentally respond to a work email with their personal “magicthighs77@aol.com” email.

4.      Give us (with a switch on the side of a tablet or phone) the ability to grab and throw a text convo or phone call to another device seamlessly.  Any device, regardless of manufacturer.

5.      Cloud store music and allow us to put on any player (Iphone to PC to Google tab). “Throw” songs from phone to car stereo.  I know, awesome.

6.      Wireless charging standards. With more and more phones moving this way, why hasn’t everyone gotten on this?

7.      Total voice control.  “Grab” and “Throw”, “Answer”, “Block”, “Open”, “Copy and Paste”, “Back/Forward/Refresh” Voice to text options with every aspect of phone.  Kill the keyboard and you will truly be innovative.

8.      Allow phone to use WiFi (and security code or button on phone) to operate lights, computers, car startup, TV’s.  Imagine having a conversation and driving up to house.  You tell your phone to turn on your lights, TV, and tablet/computer.  Your computer does this by voice control, then you throw your conversation to the TV and keep talking while you grab your tablet and look at emails.  Imagine you do this WITHOUT Comcast or your ADT charges.  Imagine you being awesome. Imagine you being awesome outside of your own mind.

9.      Smarter Wifi.  Computer learns areas that have no WiFi and turns off auto search. Stop wasting my battery at my hipster friend’s house.  He won’t use WiFi because it interferes with his skinny genes.  Haha.

10. Have the phone auto share pictures by location.  It learns.  If you’re at a bar and you take a pic, it asks you if you want to auto share..then every pic is posted after that.  When you pick up the hottie in the corner and leave, your phone stops sharing pictures.  Giggity.

11. Nightshade option.  At a specified time and location, phone will ask you if you want to enable nightshade.  If you select no, it keeps on as-is.  If you select yes, it turns off emails stops screen from lighting, turns off data, and gives specified incoming calls and texts a softer ring tone. A phone should never be a cause of insomnia.

12. Full control of app screen.  No dock bar, no square layout.  You put the apps wherever you please.  Circle?  Sure.  Triangle?  Yup.  Overlapping collage?  Certainly.  Let my phone reflect who I am..confusing and messy as hell.

13. Auto lifetime OS updates.  A guarantee to the phone consumer that they’ll always receive some sort of OS update when a new OS is released.  I don’t care if my phone is the 3XS and you’re on the 27xs…give me SOMETHING cool once in awhile.

14.  Ability to share tablet/smartphone desktop real-time.  Blackberry does this.  Everyone should.

15. True fingerprint or facial scanning.  Forget a number/pattern lock.  Scan two million facial aspects of my face or finger and store them in the cloud, then use these aspects to auto unlock my phone when I look at it or scan my finger.  Leave the number lock as a backup.

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