Don’t blink

Lauriana wrote:

Sean,

I am so happy to see things are going so well for you!  I’ve been reading your blog for years and it’s SO nice to see good people getting good things in their life.  Can you answer a question for me?

I am 23 and I am looking to get married by 25, but no guy (my age) in my area seems to want marriage at this point.  Why do you think guys my age are all about the games and not settling down?

Lauriana

Lauriana,

I can honestly say I was not ready to settle down at 23.  I don’t think I was emotionally ready to make that kind of commitment, and to be completely honest, I don’t think many 23 year olds are.

If you’ve made up your mind, then that’s your decision…but if I can offer some advice, I’d say don’t get married at 25.  Wait a few more years.  I’m 35 and just getting married and while 30 would have been good for me too, I don’t think I was ready and I definitely wasn’t with the right person.

Marriage isn’t about a timeline.  Marriage is about finding yourself – knowing your faults, strengths, and your worth, THEN finding someone who compliments those aspects of your life with their own strengths, faults, and worth.  While you may be ready, I don’t think you’ve found that in yourself and I can guarantee that most guys your age haven’t even begun to look at themselves in that way.

Guys (and girls) your age aren’t necessarily playing games either..they are just gathering life experiences and trying to figure out who they are.  Sometimes it’s constructive and sometimes it’s not.  It just takes time to find your “self”.

I wish you luck with whichever road you choose to walk.
Sean

Advertisements