Standards don’t mean anything when they aren’t the standard.

Anonymous wrote:

Maybe you can help.  I met this guy and we’ve slept together a few times (the first night and a few times since) and we have texted regularly.  The texts eventually got sexual and now he keeps texting me to get me to send him naked selfies of myself.  He is a nice guy, and I really like him, but how do I let him know I have morals/standards and I don’t do that stuff?

Anonymous

Anonymous,
So you slept with the guy on the first date and a few times since then but you’re against sending a selfie (I hate that word) to him?  Seems like your standards are double standards.

Here’s the logic:
1.  You slept with the guy on the first date, which gave him the impression you were sexually open or you were easy.

2.  Your texting turned sexual, which, no matter who started it, led him to further his impression of your sexual openness.

Drawing a moral boundary at this point is a bit like milking a cow and hoping to get cheese.  It simply isn’t going to happen.  I am not saying you’re 100% at fault here (the guy slept with you and let things go that route) but it seems as if you’ve met someone with different standards than you.  In fact, nearly EVERYONE has different standards/morals than everyone else. Couple that with the fact that you had sex with him on the night you met (sex is often times the most sacred standard) and you’ve confused this guy who may or may not be looking for someone with loose morals (it sounds like he is).  If this doesn’t jive with you, don’t just kill the selfie idea with him, find out where his lines are drawn and figure out if these are qualities you’d like in a partner.

Sean

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