Two week wedding?

Julia wrote:

Sean,
Am I crazy or is my family?  I met a man online and we have fallen deeply in love.  After just two weeks of dating, he proposed to me and we plan on marrying within a few months, once we save up for rings.  My parents are pissed and his are too because his haven’t met me and mine haven’t met him. I think that’s unnecessary and I think they’re old fashioned and they don’t understand society today.  What do you think?

Julia

Julia,
I believe love works in amazing ways, but I will have to agree with the parents on this one…for several reasons:

1.  You met this man online.  After two weeks of dating, there is no way you can know this person well enough to marry him.  You may THINK you know him well, but it’s just not possible.  I understand he feels he wants to spend his life with you, but he needs to get to know you, your friends, and your family first.  These people will be around you and “the guy” for the rest of your life (should you marry), so it’s important they bond in some way before things progress toward “forever”.

2.  He proposed to you and you’re planning a wedding, yet you have no rings.  I am not saying you need rings to propose, but if you have to save for them and your wedding is coming soon after, you obviously haven’t considered how expensive a wedding can be, so to marry a few months after saving for rings (and assuming the parents aren’t chipping in because they’re “pissed”), you are rushing a day that takes some thought and money to pull off.  Even on the cheap end, you’re looking at nice clothing and the marriage license on top of the cost for the wedding officiant which could be over $500.

It is because of those two reasons that I am advising you to wait…and by wait, I mean wait a few months (at the very least).  Have him meet your friends and family, get to know him better, and see where things go.  You don’t have to break off the engagement, but don’t be in such a hurry to rush for the wedding.  I also advise checking with a local church for wedding seminars, even if you aren’t religious.  There are some great lessons to learn that will help you down the road.  All in all, forever isn’t something you want to rush into unprepared.

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