Sean, my friend – let’s call her Dee since she reads your blog – is in need of help and I am hoping she gets her life in order after reading this.
Dee dates guys that are a wreck. They cheat, they lie, and she takes them back until they basically either take her money and disappear or they just stop coming home one night. She takes anti-anxiety meds, she rants about her life on Facebook, and she never fixes a thing. She would say life always seems to betray her but its like she never learns.
After her recent breakup, she moved out of her apartment and moved into a place with a guy that has relentlessly asked her out on a million dates (she has always declined). She said she only wanted to be friends and he still agreed to let her stay there. One night, he got really drunk and spent the night crying outside of her bedroom door because she wouldn’t let him in. I told her to not even move in there, but she didn’t listen. Now, she is in a weird place with him and she wants to move in with me but I am married with a newborn and don’t need that drama.
I want her to find some help to get her life in line, but where do I start?
I also wish there was some kind of nonprofit that had a mission of correcting the actions of people that keep making mistakes in their lives, but unfortunately, there isn’t one that I know of.
Your friend may have had some kind of emotional trauma as a child…abusive situation, psychological trauma, or may have another issue that she hasn’t diagnosed yet. It sounds like she May also have some sort of fear of being alone, which could explain her jumping from one relationship to another.
The advice I will give is to guide her to counseling, to get her to some sort of support group, and to have you and her other friends have a conversation to help her realize the mistakes she is making in life. Show her you all care and hopefully she will get the help she needs. From what you said, there isn’t a specific issue that stands out, so I apologize for being so general in my response, but I agree, your friend clearly needs help.