A relationship is not an iPod

Bex wrote:

Sean, why can’t I find a good relationship? It seems like people only want to do things that I don’t want to do. Why can’t I find a guy that wants to do the things that I do and likes the things that I do? Every guy I end up dating doesn’t like things I like.  Why are people so insistent on being in a relationship when they suck so bad?

Let me start by saying that I don’t know who is insisting you should be in a relationship, but it is not something you do if you don’t want to do it. I will also add that a relationship is not an iPod…meaning, it is not a when-you-want-and-only-what-you-want kind of thing. 

Ipods are great, but I truly feel they were the catalyst in humanity entering into the “me” era…people didn’t have to listen to music they didn’t like, they just picked only what they wanted.  It has since spread to computers, tv, and even phones.  We aren’t a “we” anymore because everything focuses on our individual needs rather than the needs of others.  Today, “We” just tries to mash “me” types together in the hope they find something to connect with.

You should realize that people don’t have to like the things you like or want to do everything that you want to do in order for a relationship to work.  You will (and should) do things that you don’t like to do in a relationship (assuming it isn’t destructive or dangerous)…the key is balancing those things with things you like as well.

For example, my wife isn’t a fan of most of the movies I love and I am not a fan of some of hers.  We make compromises though, and I am sometimes thankful that I watched one of her movies because I ended up enjoying it.  I am sure she has loved the hell out of the movies I picked too.

I could understand your perspective if you were an avid gym goer and the people you were introduced to were unhealthy gym-avoiders (it’s a health issue),  but you don’t have to associate with those people.  You can pick who to date, but please understand the differences you may have with someone aren’t a bad thing…they are what makes it all exciting.