The difference between curves and fat

Marcella wrote:


I am 5’3″ and 230lbs.  I am fat.  I am also single and starting to date for the first time since finishing my degree.  What I am finding online is bothering me and I want to know what you think.

I get emails online from guys saying they like “curvy” girls or “girls with curves”, but I think there is a misunderstanding these days about what curves are and what fat is.

Women with curves work out.  They eat right and they just have a butt, boobs, waist or thighs that remain curvy and they appreciate what they are given.  Women with curves are beautiful and proud of every curve.

Fat women rarely workout.  They don’t eat right and they don’t have curves, they just have fat everywhere.  They get tired walking up stairs (me), they get tired after eating (me), and they aren’t concerned with who finds them beautiful.  They make excuses for their size or demand that people find them acceptable because they have “curves”.

I am getting into shape. I let myself go while getting my PhD and I realize that I am not healthy as a whole. I now exercise three times a week, I watch what I eat, and I am getting to a better place.

The question I have for you is have you also seen the greying of the line between “curves” and “fat”? How do we change this as a society?


Well written letter. I agree with your points and, to answer your question, I have seen the blurring of the line between curvy and fat. I am not fat shaming, but there is a definite distinction that should be made here, and it seems to be fading. I don’t know what caused it, but I see it too. There is very little medically wrong with being curvy or overweight according to BMI standards, but there is a whole host of issues with being fat or “overfat”, as some in the health industry may say. Someone’s blood pressure may be okay and cholesterol may be in check, but they’re risking other issues like osteoarthritis, diabetes, sleep apnea, kidney disease, and others. We can even have major health issues if we are too thin as well, and greying that area (and thinking “skinny”=healthy) is also dangerous.

Again, I am not saying one body type is right for everyone. We will always feel comfortable the way we feel comfortable, but blurring a line between any healthy and unhealthy body type seems to be a dangerous game.