Since I am 40 today, some may consider me over the hill. I consider myself in my prime. My 20s and 30s were definitely fun, but it was more of a primer for these “adult” years. Here are some random moments in the last 40 years:
I once shot my friend Kris in the ass with a paintball gun, totally by accident…from about two feet away. He got revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun from about 100 feet away 20 years later.
I was riding my bike with my friend Joe and whipped into the underground parking ramp at top speed. The door to the ramp was closed and my bike hit a rain drain, sending me over the handlebars and face first into the ramp door.
I cut the tip of my finger off while making chicken salad for the woman that is now my wife. We never did find that tip.
I met an adult film star in downtown Minneapolis after the bar once but was too shy to get a picture with her. I just shook her hand, made small talk, and said it was nice to meet her.
My friend Brian and I once had a little too much to drink and fell asleep (we may have passed out) on top of our tent while trying to set it up for the evening. I ended up wrapping up in the tent to stay warm.
I have been to 38 states.
I’ve had three surgeries and 8 sets of stitches (not counting wisdom teeth).
I went to basic training in Georgia and before finishing, was given medical discharge for a wrist cyst that swelled up my arm. I am just now regaining grip strength from wrist surgery.
I can now bench press 205lbs (and not just the “I did one rep, so that counts”…crap) and I squat 185.
I consume copious amounts of protein.
My favorite artists in the 9th grade were Tori Amos and Queen.
I once rode 10 hours to Indianapolis after getting over severe food poisoning (an hour before we left) to watch a roller derby bout. I vomited so hard I lost a contact and had to flirt my way to getting a free contact trial pair at a Shopko in Wisconsin.
I have made some great friends over my 40 years and my family (both sides) couldn’t be a better group of people. I love you all. Here’s to another 40 years. May our hearts hold up longer than our hips.